NEW BLOG SITE!!!!

hey all!

been posting directly to my official site, www.listentochevonne.com

i've already racked up a few posts there. check it out from now on instead'a this one; thanks!!!

LOVE!

MY BIRTHDAY WISH...

...is to be able to live in this video game.

PS, in case youse ain't followin' the NJ Giants, they won on my twentyfauxth birthday!!!!

AND I WAS THERE!!! Wearing my Manning jerz and my fancy earrings and screaming my balls off.

POINT AND CLICK

www.listentochevonne.com

wooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

no tuneage on there yet, but they are coming hard, fast, and soon...

I'LL BUTTER YOUR POPCORN IF YOU VISIT MY BOX OFFICE

It's Labor Day, which means summer is pretty much over.

Raging hot summer hormones, sun-drenched afternoon delights, and skin-baring mansembles will soon be replaced with white-hot winter hormones, bearskin-rug-fireplace fantasies, and sexy man-sweaters. Can't decide which I like more.

But let's give the former a proper farewell send-off. I give you my top 5 Summer Blockbuster Hot Pieces of Dude:

Idris Elba in "Obsessed." Yeah, that movie came out in April, I know. I'm still not over his incredible yowza factor.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt in "500 Days Of Summer." You can draw me any day....

John Cho in "Star Trek." That scowl, those brows....oh wowz.

Samm Levine in "Inglourious Basterds." There's somethin bout a pasty comic actor in uniform that just does it for me.

Gerard Butler in "Gamer." Lookin a lil orangey here, but I am feeling all of this.

Summer blockbusters may be on the way out, but I'm not gonna fret. All the triple-threat hotties in "Fame," Taylor Lautner as Jacob in "New Moon" (sorry, guilty jailbait pleasure), and the unbelievably tantalizing Rain in "Ninja Assassin" are worth anticipating!

BLADE-Y AND THE RAMP

I got Rollerblades. (These chartreusified "Spiritblades," to be specif.) No, it isn't 1993.

Took them to the nearby park, half-Chevonniformed. I've got the knee/elbow/wrist/head gear (hey babes, if I'm gonna geek out, I'm gonna go big or go home), but the Pat Field sequined shorts and Ninja Turtles tank-top are pending...

Thought I was going to get back on 'em and roller-derby away. Ellen Page, Kirsten Wiig et al, eat your hearts out!!! (cue opening riff of "Spiderweb")

NOT. Totally forgot how to blade and pussied out at the sight of a monster up-hill, knowing how the down part might go...I don't even know how to work the damn foot brake.

I'm thinking back to elementary school, where I'd speed-skate all over the county and win squad races at rink parties to the fly tune of "Shoop" and/or "Whatta Man." I was one bad azz bitch.

But you know me. I got this. I will rock again. To be continued...

Afterthought: who in the world else has 'Blades? I need a partner in crime...preferably one with equally enthusiastic sweating tendencies. (TMI...it is what it is, kids.)

I LOVE YOU, BABY....BUT NOT LIKE I LOVE MY GUI-TAR!!

Join me in lovedeath over these custom Manson axes, crafted from raw sex, beer-and-sweat-soaked white Ts, and teenage screams for the Brit-rock band Muse:

"Bomber" -- drop your luv on me!!!

"Chrome Bomber" -- can you see my mouth gaping wide open in its reflection?!

"Lazer" -- FRIGGIN. LASER. BEAMS.

"Red Glitter" -- I literally want to lick this up and down.

Watch R-Glittz in action. I love this song.

For those Twihards out there, this is probably familiar to you...

Bottom line: I MUST learn how to play so I can sling these babies low on my funkchild-bearin hips someday.

MIXTAPE#3: BEAUTIFAUX

This mix is meant for make-up/Spanx/weave application, hairbrush-mic divashows, girlytime, girlytime with boys, dudelytime with girls, the pre-preparty-party....

...WARNING: this is a strictly no-lovemakin-allowed mix. Tryin to make babies to this might result in someone getting injured by a runaway false eyelash or nail gem. It's for dancin with ya'self, vogueing, and beautification!!!

DOWNLOAD "BEAUTIFAUX":

http://www.divshare.com/download/8309405-ebc

1. Cover Girl -- RuPaul. Put the bass in your walk!!! This is my motto, 24/7.

2. Make-Up -- Vanity 6. Get one of those mirrors that switches lighting FX, "Office-Day-Evening-Home," and flip the switch to the beat. Make. Up.

3. Alphabet -- Amanda Lear. I have two great makeup memories connected to this song. One involved doing my classy friend Christina's eyeshadow in a really non-subtle, possibly un-classy fluoro-color combo before going out in Philly. She owned that shiz!!!

4. If I Was Your Girlfriend -- Prince. The Purple One as "Camille." What is better in life?

5. Magnetic Baby -- Semi Precious Weapons. Sometimes you have to find a boy that looks better than you in your own killer heels. Back in school, the boys would turn us OUT at the annual cross-dressing sexabration.

6. I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) -- Whitney Houston. Noted.

7. Tramp -- Salt 'N' Pepa. "I ain'tcha baby, TRAMP. Oh yeah?! Ya SISTER!" Tellem, ladies.

8. Sittin' Up In My Room -- Brandy. About 2 days ago, I actually uttered the phrase "I'm a mess for you." I'm proud of my mess!

9. Standing In The Way Of Control -- The Gossip. I love Beth Ditto, but the truth is that Hannah Blilie's the one I crush on.

10. Emotions -- Mariah Carey. Pure deeevahh. How can you not want to braid a unicorn and ride a rainbow made of marshmallows after listening to this?

11. Supafreak -- Aaron LaCrate feat. Amanda Blank and Nina Cream. "I got a pussy made'a gold..." You bet your azz I do!!

12. 100% Pure Love -- Crystal Waters. This one's all roller-rink parties, summer camp dances, and Bat Mitzvahs.

13. Real Love -- Mary J. Blige. So delicious and 'roundtheway.

14. Making A Scene -- Fritz Hedler and the Phantoms. "That Prada clutch, GURL, that's so last season!!!"

15. Work -- Kelly Rowland. Don't you love that now you can sing "put it in" in the context of an r&b jam?

16. Ego (Official Remix w Kanye West) -- Beyonce. I would have put "Diva" in this mix, but I think "Ego" is a way more subtle. Now go stroke your big ego!! Or someone else's!!!

And for the finale, I'm taking you out on a serious dance medley, fueled by a familiar 90s keyboard synth riff...

17. Dreamer -- Livin' Joy. Feel it! Motivational dancers! Laser lights! Reddish brown lipstick with purple lip liner! (Sorry bout the weird transish @ end of song...that's what you get from a free download)

18. Show Me Love -- Robin S. Un-Auto-Tuned wailing! Black spandex dresses with shoulder cutouts!

19. Bulletproof (Larry Tee and Alexander Technique Blogula remix) -- La Roux. Fooled ya! This is a totally new track from 2009...but don't it make you think back to better times?